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Sambalhot - the online community to meet Asians for penpals, friendship, romance, love and marriage
Am I Weird If I Date Online?
Copyright 2004, Devlyn Steele
True story: A few years
back I was working with a client who had recently moved to
Los Angeles. She was single, did not know many people in the
big city, and felt a little lonely. I innocently suggested
she give online dating a shot. It seemed like an easy and
pressure-free way to meet people, and I had other clients
who enjoyed their experience and were in good relationships
as a result.
"What kind of desperate
person do you think I am?!?" she snapped.
She apologized, but explained
that she felt "weird" about online dating. This perked my
curiosity, so later I asked some of my other clients if they
ever tried it. Some only confessed after their faces turned
three shades of crimson. Since I am a strong proponent of
online dating, I dispel any stigma or embarrassment when I
recommend it to my clients. This is what I tell them: For
many singles, life moves like Richard Petty around the Talladega
Speedway. We change jobs every few years. We relocate more
frequently. We cannot remember the last time we answered a
phone with a cord. Even if time is not the issue, some single
people cannot shake the feeling that everyone else is happy
while they are always alone. We may look at online dating
as an act of desperation, because "normal people don't need
something like that."
The simple fact is that
you are not weird if you use an online dating service. We
only feel weird when we think we are doing something outside
the norm. Consider this: over 40 million people in the US
access online dating websites every month. It is the fastest
growing sector of online content. There is no reason to feel
embarrassed, because if you date online you are actually part
of a huge group.
There is nothing wrong with
wanting to find someone special, or at the very least make
some new friends, so why not use every resource available
to you? You do not get extra points for meeting someone in
a bar or while waiting for dry socks at the Laundromat. Does
it matter to you how you met the important people already
in your life? You probably barely even think about it.
By setting up a personal
profile and a list of likes and dislikes, you invest time
in yourself. More importantly, you are taking action by trying
to improve yourself and your situation. You are putting yourself
out there and taking control by refusing to be lonely and
isolated.
I have found many advantages
to the Internet. The anonymity of online dating allows you
to roll out of bed, hair standing in ten different directions,
breath smelling like Boston Harbor at low tide - then click!
You stumble on a person you will be dating in a few weeks.
The cost compared to going out and searching is next to nothing.
You can learn more about a person's interests to see if they
mesh with yours. You do not have to deal with the harshness
of rejection in person. You have a huge pool of people to
explore (remember, 40 million!) from all walks-of-life, people
you would never have the chance to meet within your neighborhood
or small circle of friends.
There is also fraud and
deception. You will probably come across a photo that looks
eerily like Pamela Anderson - right down to the copyright
in the lower corner. Clients tell me about married people
posing as single. Nevertheless, these issues of honesty exist
both on and off-line, so do not let that stop you from finding
the partner you want.
With 43% of the U.S. population
being single and with so many single clients asking me about
Internet dating, I began to put a guide together to help my
clients use this service effectively and safely and avoid
these pitfalls. I want everyone to find the happiness they
deserve and want to make this Tool book available to everyone
for Free! To get your free E-Book, "Tools To Internet Dating"
go to http://TheRelationshipTools.com and get your copy today.
Don't be ashamed or afraid,
learn the best and safest way to use the Internet to take
control of your life and find the person you deserve!
Devlyn Steele ("America's
Leading Life-Coach") has been a public consultant and
a private counselor for over 15 years. A Cognitive Therapist,
Radio host and Columnist, Devlyn also developed http://ToolsToLife.com.
Devlyn maintains a thriving practice in Hollywood, where he
counsels famous actors, musicians and captains of industry.
Soon his new book will be available, Relationship Tools. You
can hear Coach Steele live every Tuesday on LoveBeat Radio
1310 KXAM.com 7-9 PM. Arizona Time.
Sambalhot - the online community to meet Asians for penpals, friendship, romance, love and marriage
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